St. Patrick's Day commemoration with a story from my Irish past

The Fidelia, the ship on which my ancestor Peter Thompson came over from Ireland 

My paternal Grandfather Thomas F. Thompson

The following has been garnered from years of Genealogy research.

The year was 1878; the setting was the scenic riverfront town of Kingston, New York.  Peter Thompson, a charming Irish immigrant was a successful barge owner and Mary Degnan, a native New Yorker was a typical housewife. The couple had four boys and an idyllic life that would soon be shattered by tragedy and a mystery whose ghostly specter haunts our family to this day.  What happened to Peter?

Peter and Mary were my paternal great grand parents.  Since my dad was now in his 90s it was imperative that I try to solve as much of this puzzle as I could.  The first item on this daunting task was locating documentation of their marriage. Unfortunately several years of searching remained fruitless. Their names appeared as the parents on my grandfather’s marriage license, but where was theirs? Why did Mary show up as Degnan on some records, Thompson on others? On these same records Peter’s name was left blank just listing Ireland as the father’s place of birth.  A phrase popped in my head “Common Law” and I found an article that confirmed my suspicion. "Common Law Marriages" were very typical in those days and the number one country where this was used was Ireland where he was from.  This seems like the most likely reason for not finding any marriage record.

With women’s rights practically non-existent why Mary would settle for this type of insecure marital arrangement is another mystery.  I can speculate that either Mary was blinded by Peter’s Irish charm or perhaps already pregnant with their first child.  James was their oldest child, next came Peter, followed by Thomas (my grandfather) and George was the youngest born in 1878.  Some time in 1878 Peter Sr., was piloting one of his barges up the Hudson River to New York city to sell it. The barge was found with a ransacked cabin and no sign of Peter. A New York newspaper for that year listed four unidentified drowning victims that were found at different dates on the banks of the Hudson River. One had a rope around his neck and had been towed by a boat. When the riverbank was close enough the rope was cut ensuring the body would drift to shore and be found. A chill went up my spine. This could be him. Long before any type of accurate forensics could be used, dental records, scars and tattoos were the usual means of identification. With no identifying marks the body would be potentially doomed to a potter's field burial. If that poor fellow was indeed Peter, that is presumably where his body ended up.

Meanwhile Mary with little or no support must have found it increasingly difficult to hold her family together and she sank into despondency fueled by alcohol.  In 1880 she is institutionalized and three of the four boys were subsequently sent to an orphanage. That must have been terrifying for them. One of the top fears of children to this day is a death of a parent and being orphaned.  With no child labor laws in place at the time the oldest, James now twelve, is found on a census working as a boatman. Two of Mary’s relatives, a spinster sister Winifred and bachelor brother Peter Degnan quickly retrieved my grandfather. Why just him, we may never know. Hopefully the other two boys found homes as well, but perhaps not. According to records the only one who eventually had a wife and family is my grandfather who at age 5 had been taken into a loving home and adored. After years of research and in all of the Internet and genealogy sites I could find no one looking for the other three.

In 1885 exactly seven years since Peter's been missing Mary goes to court as he can now be claimed legally dead. While at court she found out there wasn't a will. That provision would have been the only way she would have received any type of inheritance.  Perhaps this was the last straw for Mary. A sudden change in financial status would have made a world of difference. Now she truly had nothing to hope for.  She dropped out of view and my grandfather Thomas never spoke of her. Ironically, in 1885 ten year old Thomas spies Peter's blood relatives enjoying sudden wealth, driving fancy carriages and wearing nice clothes. A rumor was circulating that it was one of his own family members that killed him.  They had something to gain, no one else did.

My grandfather’s life was mostly pleasant. Like any other life it had it’s share of ups and downs, twists and turns. On the other hand I’m sure given any kind of choice he would have much rather remained an integral part of a large wealthy family.  Fate can be cruel and has a way of intervening with it’s own brand of reasoning.  Who killed Peter and why may never be known.  Some mysteries are unsolvable and grow dimmer with each passing year.

Today we can all remember and thank our immigrant ancestors who came to this country with nothing but hopes and dreams of a better life.  Whether they were lucky or not they made us all who we are today.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Let's all got to the snobatorium

With school out this week we are always on the lookout for fun things to do.  This weekend we went to an arts and crafts show in Tom Varn Park in Brooksville, FL.  I had driven by this park on numerous occasions but have never checked it out. It was really nice, large and treed, with cute turtle filled ponds and a great play area for the kids.  We enjoyed looking at all the unique items for sale. Of course my favorites were the steam punk fish.  Unfortunately with a huge price tag I really couldn't warrant bringing one home.  I don't know if this artisan won a prize but he was number 1 to me!

Fish powered car

Fish powered sub

They had a parrot rescue there as well and the girls donated money to which the parrot put the dollars in his mouth and shoved them in the donation box! How cute and they each got to feed him!

Parrot dropping money in the box

Kaity and Bri feeding the parrot from Parrot Rescue

I saw lots of things I liked but in the end we came home with icees and Kaity did buy a lacy wrist and finger bracelet.  I can't buy every thing I like, I like the minimalist style of my decor.  I've had tons of collectibles in the past and at our ages we need to look at how much do we really want and what happens if we die. Our kids will be getting rid of this stuff forever.  I really don't want that on my conscious.  Speaking of which:

Part 2: the snobatorium

Monday we went to Tampa International Mall or as we call it the "snobatorium".  Our version of Rodeo Dr. In Beverly Hills with many of the same stores: Gucci, Armani, Tiffany's,  Swarovski, Louis Vuitton, Tesla Motors, Neiman Marcus, Michael Kors and Nordstrom's.    The first two stores we walked into Gucci and Louis Vuitton didn't have any prices "on anything".  What's up with that??   How are we supposed to get sticker shock if there are no stickers???!   Hum.  I saw a really cute key chain with a mini Louis Vuitton bag on it, no price on that either. And like the old saying goes if you have to ask, you can't afford it! I was too embarrassed to ask the price of the key chain and if I just went a head a bought it and it was $200 I would be sick over it! Sigh😔 So we moved on to Gucci.  We decided to ask this time!  There was a stunning hot pink snake skin bag and silver dragon clasps!  Oh so beautiful!  The woman told us how much work was involved making it, had to be repeatedly dyed, etc, hum, I thought justifying the price? Price tag a whopping $3500!  The girls eyes grew as big as saucers. I tried to take in stride, I would walk around and "think" about it. Yeah right.  The next room held the "expensive" stuff. Huh? How pricey does one get that the cheap junk is several thousand dollars and the "good" stuff is in a locked glass case??   We didn't ask, but wondered if the gold and giant pearls embedded in the locked stuff was real pearls and gold, it must have been.

"after" Breakfast at Tiffany's

In front of Louis Vuitton

From there we went to stores that were brave enough to post prices and we all admired a pair of $800 jeans.  For that price they better make me look 5 sizes smaller!  We also walked in Tesla motors right inside the mall and the girls posed in the front of a Tesla frame.

At Tesla Motors

Then finally to the Cheesecake Factory, and no Penny wasn't working there.  They have pretty good food. I had the beet and goat cheese salad not wanting to go large if I wanted to share in a cheesecake.  After lunch we did buy two cheesecakes to share a chocolate anniversary one and the Tiramisu one which was fabulous!!

Then back home on the Veterans Expressway. It was chilly and rainy and the cars were crazy as usual, so glad I wasn't driving!  As the sun set in the west another fun day was had by all!

The search for weird yard art

I am always searching for something unique for our yard. We already have a few things on a cool factor but I am looking for something REALLY odd.

The best example of yard art sat for years in the front yard of an antique shop in Dunedin Florida. It was a yellow submarine made to look exactly like how the Beatles envisioned it! Every time I drove by it I wondered if it was for sale. Well finally one time I drove by and it was gone. So obviously it did have a price and like the old saying goes you snooze you lose!

Similar to this one

Darn it, that would have been perfect! And a few weeks ago we went to an architectural supply place  that had an ox cart.  It was nice but eh, would need something in it and that sounded like too much work. 

The kids had this Friday off from school to start their spring break.  So Tara's husband Kevin found the absolute perfect place to take us all for the coolest of cool yard art!  It was on several acres out in the sticks of Inverness, Florida!  So many awesome things to look at and pick from I didn't know where to begin! 

The first thing I saw was a huge ICBM missile! Oh daddy please can I have one?  Yeah Jim just wasn't as excited about this as I was.  I should have been standing under it to show size, this thing was HUGE!

Every yard should have a missile

And there were smaller ones too. 

The next unique items were ancient anchors. One which had a tree grow over it. But they had some sans trees. 

Jim with anchor tree

Anchor tree

All I could think of the TVs pickers and how they would love this place. There had to be well over 2 acres of "just" antique motorcycle and bike parts!   Not my thing but fun to look at.

Acres and acres of bikes

Another item I liked was an old canon, not really old enough as I would like it but still pretty cool. I could imagine it in the front yard next to the walk pointing at the walk entry with a sign hanging on it 

"welcome".  😁

The welcome canon

There were completed arts which were ready to take home, no extra imagination required 

Chrome snake in mesh

Giant lizard

So many cool things to pick from! I did come home with a prize, not the canon, or giant anchor but a really old plow, which I need to spruce up a little to prevent it from further deterioration.  I already have a place picked out for it out front so I can sit on the front porch, admire it and wonder about it's previous life. 

Antique plow

"Evey body a gotta somethin"

I received some bad news today from my sleep study. I fought having this study tooth an nail! Get me to wear one of those ridiculous contraptions, hells no!  So when the doctor suggested I really needed to have a study done I figured okay fine, no problem. The last one many years ago came back totally clear.  This should be the same and I would remember to take my inhaler and prescription nasal spray first and make sure I do not go to bed over tired.  Everything "should be" fine. I should pass it with flying colors.  Uh, nope. I flunked big time.  😖

There are two types of apneas obstructive which is what most people who have apnea have. The other is more rare and is called central. That's what I have. These people do not usually snore but wake up feeling like they just ran a marathon.  It is literally a person's brain misfiring and  telling them NOT to breathe.   It can also be secondary to something worse like cancer or ALS. Great.  The treatment, you guessed it, is the ridiculous contraption which I feel backed into a corner to get.  I need it-only if I "want" to breathe. Gee, let me think about that a while.  They promised they have tiny ones not the silly looking aviator contraptions of long ago. I hope so, or I ain't gonna be happy!

ALS and Locked in Syndrome have always been on my short list of things I pray I never get! To me they are the worst of the worst! Everything else can be fixed, adjusted enough for comfort, cured, etc.  I thought ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease was the worst thing a person could have bar none till I saw a movie about Locked in Syndrome. It was called " The Diving bell and the butterfly" and was a true story of one man's life (Jean D. Bauby) with this horrid condition. If it were not a documentary movie it could have been classified as horror!  It is a rare type of stroke where a person is paralyzed completely, but their mind is still sharp and their only means of communicating is blinking their eyes.  His life went from picture perfect to a nightmare in the "blink of an eye".

This news is one of a long line of rare stuff that for some reason I have contracted, one is called Prinzmetal angina. While others have angina attacks while getting stressed out or exercising mine have no rhyme or reason. One bad one happened while in my recliner watching Andy Griffith reruns.   I have become a sort of poster girl for rare conditions.  Another condition they saw on my MRI and it can cause some issues I'm having, this condition which I will not name for personal reasons can also be secondary to cancer.  I am trying to be unbeat and usually don't divulge personal stuff. My business, don't want sympathy and if someone else can't do something about it why tell them.  In the back of my mind I hear my deceased Greek mother in law saying in her broken English  "evey body a gotta somethin". This would be her answer to any news that was medical and upsetting even talking about little kids with cancer. Ultimately "evey body had a somethin" except Koula who lived to be 94 and died peacefully in her sleep.  But in a way she was right, cold and unsympathetic but right.  Everybody does have something they have to deal with. Maybe not even a medical issue but everybody does have something they would rather not have.

So I am writing this as who knows what tomorrow may bring. There may not even be one, none of us know what the future will bring.   Unlike those ads for a well known cancer enter everyone does have an expiration date. It is somewhere in the palm of your hand and that is the day you leave this world.  Eating right and exercising don't seem to matter either, ask my mom who turns 92 in a few months and has always done neither.  So hopefully things will work out and I will be fine.  If not, it is what it is and I accept it.